You're My Saving Grace
by kissmealways
Summary: Remember the story Haley told Nathan about the moment she realized nothing on the tour mattered without him? That's where this starts.....NALEY FOREVER even if shady things happen naley will always prevail
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, only love for One Tree Hill and all the characters involved. Especially NALEY.**

**PROLOGUE**

Can you hear it? The moment when your life changes?

**HALEY**

All I could hear were the chants from the crowd. "Let's go girl," Chris Keller said to me and we walked on stage, me behind him. In the last few months I had done this a million times, the encore was the easy part.

"Hey guys! Thanks a lot for coming out tonight we had a great time. My name is Chris Keller and she's Haley James, this is our last song of the night."

The house lights turned up and I was aced with the crowd. I could see every single face and somehow I was still looking for him, for all of them. Lucas, Brooke, Peyton, and my Nathan. I knew I wouldn't se them smiling at me like they had that night at Tric and right there on stage my eyes welled up with tears. That was the moment I knew I needed my husband and friends more than I needed my music. That was the moment my life changed.

"This is my last show," I announced abruptly over the microphone. "And I'm so happy I get to spend it right here with you guys!"

Tears slowly spilled from my eyes as I turned to look at Chris. He walked to me nodding and pulled me into a hug.

"About time Hales…" he said into my ear and I chuckled through my tears.

"Let's do this."

The music I was so used to began to play and I knew my cue. Somehow, this time I enjoyed it more than any other.

_Dancin' where the stars go blue _

_Dancin' where the evening fell _

_Dancin' in my wooden shoes _

_In a wedding gown _

_Dancin' out on 7th street _

_Dancin' through the underground _

_Dancin' little marionette _

_Are you happy now? _

_Where do you go when you're lonely _

_Where do you go when you're blue _

_Where do you go when you're lonely _

_I'll follow you _

_When the stars go blue_


	2. Reunited And It’s Not So Good

**You're My Saving Grace**

Episode 1 – Reunited And It's Not So Good

Getting back to Tree Hill that night was a nightmare. The pouring rain put the train on all kinds of delays. When I finally got there I ran to the apartment as fast as I could. I pulled my key off the necklace around my neck with my wedding ring and opened the door. I didn't need to turn on the light to know something was different, it felt empty. Flicking the switch only confirmed my worst possible fear. Everything was gone. All the furniture had been covered, there were boxes packed up everywhere, and the wall that once held a picture of me from our wedding reception had been very roughly covered with pink paint. Nathan had moved out of our home.

The tears took hold as I stumbled into the bedroom and saw only the queen size mattress was left sitting on the floor. Falling onto it, I curled up into a ball and spent the next 5 hours sobbing into the t-shirt of Nathan's that I had taken with me on tour. I knew it was pathetic but I didn't care. I knew now that Nathan was done waiting and that killed me more than leaving any tour behind. Why had I done it in the first place? Why didn't I ask him to come with me? There wasn't one day when I was gone that I wasn't thinking of him and immediately I knew I was wrong for not telling him that. The confusion I felt before I left was completely unjustified and I should have never let Chris romance me into thinking the tour was what I needed. I needed Nathan. There were a lot of things I wished I could take back from the last few months and I needed Nathan to know that, I needed him to know I came home to fight for us.

I wanted to tell him but my heart wouldn't let me move and all I could manage was reaching into my duffel and pulling out the stack of letters. All 100 of them were addressed to Nathan Scott for every day on tour I knew I couldn't live without him. I looked to the top of the pile where the first 3 letters read RETURN TO SENDER across the front. After getting those letters back I knew sending him more would be pointless but I still kept writing. I hugged the letters tight to me, my eyelids slowly closing. I never wanted to wake up again.

********

**NATHAN**

It was 3am and I couldn't sleep, no surprise since I hadn't been sleeping much at all lately. Too much had been going on between my parents' divorce, and Haley leaving to go on tour. I was jealous of her for being able to follow her dreams, being able to run away from everything that was hard in life. I had my share of screw-ups like everyone else, one being telling Haley I didn't want her to come home. I remembered seeing those letters from her in the mail and being too hurt to read them. Maybe I should have but what good would it have done? She already told me she was sorry and it just wasn't enough to make the pain of losing her go away.

From across the room I saw my phone light up on my dresser. I was so awake that I got up to check it; Lucas was calling.

"Hey man, it's sort of late."

"Nathan hey. I just wanted to let you know your mom just stumbled in here pretty wacked out. She's sleeping and I think she'll be fine once she wakes up but I thought you should know."

I sighed, "Yeah, thanks Luke. I can come by and take her if you want, I can't sleep anyway."

"Naw man it's cool, me and my mom are keeping an eye on her. You might want to hide all the pills she's been taking though."

"Yeah believe me I've tried, she's got some pretty weird hiding places. I'll come get her in the morning."

I layed the phone back down on the dresser and signed. Whether my mom wanted to admit it or not, she needed help and I had to get that for her. It wasn't fair to me that she was doing this to herself. I slipped on my sweats and a t-shirt and laced up my runners. Nothing like a good jog to clear my head.

The fresh sandy air from the beach was like an aphrodisiac as I ran but it was hard to avoid the spot, our spot. The spot where Haley and I got married. I stopped there, taking in the sight of the water rolling up on the sand, standing in the same spot I had that day. It felt like so long ago and impossible to be that happy again. I wanted to but a part of me thought Haley would listen to what I had said and never come back. I loved her as much as I had the day we got married but I didn't trust her anymore, the tour had ruined that. I wanted so badly for things to just go back to the way they were when we were happily married in our tiny apartment.

Without thinking my legs took me there, maybe the safety I was looking for was within the walls of the home we had made together. When I opened the door everything was just as I had left it before I moved back to my parents' house: the covered furniture, the packed boxes, the half painted pink wall with Haley's picture underneath. The one difference was a red backpack in the middle of the hallway. It had never been mine, and as far as I knew I was the only one with keys to this apartment.

Very slowly I walked down the hallway to the bedroom. Painful memories washed over me with every step. As I peaked around the corner I was the last thing I expected, Haley. She was sleeping, curled up with no blanket on the bare mattress and clutching something close to her chest. The way her hair fell around her face made her look perfect. I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep there with her in my arms but the more I looked at her the more the pain rushed up to the surface in the form of happy memories.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Nathannn!" Haley giggled._

_I knew Haley wanted me to stop tickling her but I didn't. It wasn't my fault I knew her weak spot was on her neck just under her ear. Smiling into my act, I left a trail of kisses all the way down her neck and back up to her lips. Her smile glowed at me._

_It was a Sunday afternoon and Haley was trying to study while lying stomach down on the bed. I had just come back from playing at the Rivercourt and after making myself a sandwich I proceeded to seduce my wife. I knew it wouldn't take long for Haley to put down her book and give me her full attention and I was right._

"_You know, some of us have to try in school. We don't all have basketball to get us into college," she laughed through my kisses._

"_Well not everyone has a husband as great as yours either, take advantage while you can."_

_Haley let out a loud giggle and threw her book down, wrapping both arms securely around my neck to kiss me and allowing me to lie her down on the bed._

_END_

Before Haley could wake up and find me, I slipped out of the apartment. I was too confused and had too many questions to wake her at 4 in the morning. Why was she back? Was she leaving again soon? Was she coming back to tell me she chose music and Chris Keller over me? And then the horrifying question: if Haley was back for good would I ever be able to heal this hole in my heart and forgive her?

The next morning I woke up in a blur. I was home at my mom's house but I had so many thoughts buzzing around in my head that I couldn't remember how I got there. My memory immediately drifted to visiting the apartment the night before and seeing Haley asleep. Should I tell her I know she's back or should I wait for her to talk to me? I decided to confide in Lucas, he had been the most trustworthy person through everything.

"Your mom's still asleep if you wanna know," he said over the phone. "and she took my bed so I'm a little cranky for having to sleep on the couch."

I had completely forgotten that my mom was at Lucas' but at least now I had an excuse to see him.

"I'm on my way," I said.

The drive to Lucas' house felt longer than it was. I was happy when I finally got there and walked in the front door. Lucas was sitting in the kitchen reading as if he was waiting for me.

"Hey man, I figured I would just wait to wake up your mom until you got here. I didn't want her to get freaked out or anything, she probably doesn't remember much,"

"Thanks Luke, but can we just leave my mom for a second? I kinda have to talk to you about something."

I sat down at the kitchen table across from him. He looked ready to listen.

"Haley's home. I was going for a jog last night and ended up at the apartment. I saw her there sleeping."

"And what did you do?"

"I did nothing, what was I supposed to do? It was late and she was sleeping."

Lucas pondered the thought and looked at me serious. After a few minutes he spoke.

"Alright I'll go talk to her, make it look like I was going over to get something from the apartment. But Nathan, this is the first and last time I play messenger. From now on if you want answers you're going to have to talk to Haley yourself, okay?"

I nodded, thankful to Lucas for this but terrified for what life had in store.

********

**HALEY**

Everything hurt. My eyes hurt when they adjusted to the morning light, my body hurt when I tried to move, and my heart hurt inside my chest. At that moment, it felt impossible to keep living.

I looked down at the stack of letters I had with me, running my fingers over the RETURN TO SENDER stamp. Nathan made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with me, how could I possibly think that was going to change by me coming back to Tree Hill? I wanted to believe there was hope but at this point I couldn't feel it and I had absolutely no idea what to do. I threw the letters against the wall, terrified for what was going to happen to me. Summer was winding down and senior year was going to start soon, which meant I was going to see Nathan eventually.

My attention drifted to the sound of the apartment door being opened and I tensed up. It was Nathan, I could feel it. I hadn't felt more like hiding in my entire life but I knew I needed to face him and our problems. I clutched my necklace holding my wedding ring and got up slowly. Of course the first time I saw Nathan I probably looked like a complete mess. I opened the door a crack and looked out into the hallway. The coast looked clear but I could hear some rustling in the kitchen. After taking the biggest breath, I walked out of the bedroom and down the hall. As I turned the corner I saw Lucas looking through the cabinets in the kitchen.

"Luke?"

He jumped, obviously freaked out by my presence and I laughed softly.

"Sorry I scared you."

"Hales you're back!!" he said happily and pulled me into a big hug.

"Yeah, I am," I said wrapping my arms around my best friend in return. "And I'm not going anywhere."

Lucas pulled back, a smile spread across his face. It made me feel good and safe, like nothing was wrong and everything was going to go back to normal.

"That's great Haley, I'm proud of you."

"Yeah, I knew it was the right thing all along it just took me a bit to realize it. So what are you doing here anyway I mean, it doesn't look like anyone lives here anymore."

I watched Lucas sigh like he knew something I didn't and instantly it hit me, he was just the messenger.

"Nathan came by here last night and saw you sleeping, he told me to come check on you."

I took it in, expecting it but still shocked when I heard the words. Nathan saw me and didn't wake me, he didn't care enough to come here himself.

"He still cares Hales," Lucas said reading my thoughts. "He's just hurt right now."

I nodded silently and leaned on the counter for support.

"Listen Haley, you need to talk to him. Nathan's been a mess without you but he still loves you and that's never changed. You owe it to him to make the first move this time."

I nodded again and Lucas, deciding to leave me to my thoughts, left the apartment. I knew he was right, I was going to have to talk to Nathan, but I knew it wouldn't be easy. He probably wanted nothing to do with me so getting him alone was going to be the hard part. Plus it wasn't only Nathan I needed to patch things up with. Peyton was one of my best friends before I left for the tour and I knew from the moment Lucas and Brooke showed up at my hotel room in Wisconsin without her that Peyton was angry. Although I would never dream of blaming Peyton for taking Nathan's side in this, she still needed to see how sorry I was and so did Nathan.

I made the rounds but never saw him. I went to all of his favourite places on purpose: the school gym, the Rivercourt, the café, and even if I had gotten a second chance from everyone else it didn't matter without Nathan. Nothing mattered without Nathan.

I climbed the stairs to the roof of the café. When Lucas and I used to go up there it made me feel optimistic, like I could do anything I wanted. Maybe it was the feel of knowing our hopes and dreams for that year were behind one of the bricks in the wall. I wanted to feel safe again and I knew that the rooftop would give me that, it always gave me that little bit of magic I needed to survive through the tough times.

I opened the door and closed my eyes, breathing in the sweet air as I stepped onto the patio. The sun felt warm on my face and the world felt perfect, that is until I heard a voice.

"Haley?"

I opened my eyes and they followed my ears to the sound of my name. It was Nathan, sitting on the picnic table Lucas and I had left after we got rid of the mini golf course. He looked tired, like he hadn't been sleeping and his shirt was damp with sweat like he'd been jogging or playing basketball. I knew he did those things when he had the most to think about and I knew this time he was thinking about me.

"Hi," I said meekly but not moving from my position across the patio. "I've been looking for you all day."

He looked away from me and into the view from the rooftop.

"Look Nathan I…"

"No Haley, I can't. I'm not ready to do this, I'm not ready for you to be back here."

Slowly I walked towards him and sat myself on the other side of the bench, putting a safe space between us.

"Please Nathan, I know we have a lot to work out and I know that it isn't just going to fix itself. I came back because I love you and I don't want to be without you anymore."

"And you couldn't have realized that 3 months ago Haley? Don't kid yourself, you're not back for me. You're back because you feel guilty for leaving in the first place. It wasn't just me you hurt when you took off with Chris Keller."

"But you were the most important person it hurt. Plus I told you, I did it for the music not Chris Keller. Nothing happened with the two of us."

I could see Nathan getting more angry and he got up from the bench to stand in front of me. The look on his face was anger mixed with pain and it made me want to die.

"I saw the interview you did with him Haley, I saw that you didn't say anything about our marriage. It was so easy for you to just throw us away…"

"I didn't throw us away Nathan!"

"YES YOU DID HALEY, YOU DID AND NOW YOU CAN'T GET IT BACK."

I sat there and looked at him, my eyes filling up with tears and I knew he couldn't bring himself to look back at me. I saw in Nathan the one thing I never wanted, regret.

"I want a divorce Haley."

He stormed out the door and I could hear his footsteps quickly descending the stairs. It left me motionless, powerless to stop it. I couldn't get back what used to be, and it was too late to keep trying.

Lucas found me sitting on the rooftop still and sobbing to myself. I already knew what he was going to do. He was going to be the reassuring best friend because that's what he always did, but this time it was different. For the first time since I had gotten married I didn't even feel like Haley James Scott anymore, I felt like plain old Haley James. The one who didn't have any friends but Lucas and tutored people for fun. In the minute Nathan had said he wanted a divorce I saw my whole life fading like it didn't even belong to me anymore. I was trying to grasp onto it but everything was slipping through my fingers. Lucas knew this side of me and knew talking wouldn't do much good. Instead he just held me and let me soak his shirt with my tears, watching the sun go down in the sky.

********

**NATHAN**

I thought it was bad when Haley was gone but it had been 2 weeks since she got home and I still couldn't sleep. Every night I would lie awake thinking back to the one conversation we had 2 weeks ago. I couldn't decide if I regretted what I had said to her, if I actually wanted a divorce. When Haley left me I lost a part of myself. It felt like she was moving so fast and I just couldn't keep up. The hardest part about her coming back was seeing how truly sorry she was and knowing I couldn't forgive her, at least not right now. Things couldn't just go back to the way they were.

As always, basketball took my mind off things. The Rivercourt and the game was my escape. It was something I knew would be there without fail, and that I was good at. It felt so natural, putting the ball to the court, shooting at the basket and being by myself. I looked forward to the 10 minutes I had alone with my thoughts because I knew it would be about that long until Lucas found me like he did every night. It made me feel better to know that Haley had him to turn to when she couldn't have me but it was good to have him there for me too.

Lucas showed up just on time but this time didn't greet me on the court. Instead he sat on the picnic table at the side and watched me shoot at the net a while, saying nothing. Lucas was always good at just letting me be and listening when I needed it. It tipped me off that something was different this time when he put his head in his hands and that was when I dropped the ball and walked over to him.

"Lucas?"

He nodded slightly.

"You okay?"

He shook his head so I took a seat beside him. It looked like it was my turn to listen to him.

"Talk."

Lucas looked up at me. He looked so tired and his shirt was stained with tears. Someone had been crying to him and I had one guess of who that might be.

"She's a mess Nathan, I don't know what I can do for her anymore. She's my best friend and I feel like I can't help her. I know you told me to look after her when she got back but she needs _you_." Nathan pleaded with me and by the look on his face; I knew I couldn't hide from Haley anymore. I nodded slowly and hung my own head down like he had before.

"I know man, I just don't want to be hurt again, I can't do that."

"Nate, you need to see how sorry she is and you need to try and trust her when she says things are going to be different. Do you still love her? Because if you don't then that changes everything."

"Of course I still love her."

I pulled out the necklace that was hidden underneath my shirt. It had my wedding ring on it and, though no one knew about it, I refused to take it off. I still believed in Haley, I just didn't want to be second best to her music or a guy like Chris Keller.

"Then build back your relationship, you both need it."

Lucas walked out onto the court and picked up the ball I had left there.

"I make this shot, you talk to Haley."

He shot the ball at the net, looking at me the whole time. I didn't have to look at the net to know the ball went in; I just kept my eyes focused on Lucas when I heard the swish. A smile spread across his face and he pointed at me.

"Okay Luke, I'll talk to Haley. But I'm telling you now, I can't promise everything is going to go back to normal right away but I'll try to make things better."

"That's all I'm asking little brother."

********

**Alright so that was episode 1. Just to let everyone know, I have the Naley reunion already written, I just need to write how they're going to get there so bare with me! Hope you enjoyed the first episode!!!**


	3. But We Can Try

**You're My Saving Grace**

Episode 2 – But We Can Try…

_FLASHBACK_

_Usually rain was a good thing. I loved the rain and so did Haley but tonight was different, the rain was angry. It fell outside the apartment as a torrential downpour so much so that it was impossible to enjoy. Haley was sitting on the couch with a blanket and a mug of hot chocolate. It was the first time since I had met her that she looked this way, broken and inconsolable. I knew what she wanted deep down and I knew it was important to her. I was holding her back from her music but I couldn't help it. Was it so wrong for me to want Haley all to myself, especially when I felt like I was losing her to…Chris Keller?_

"_Hales?"_

_She looked up at me and I could see all the sadness in her eyes. I sat beside her on the couch._

"_Haley I know you want to go on tour."_

_She didn't say anything; only the saddest of expressions crossed her face. It reminded me of the night she told me she missed her parents._

"_Haley look at me."_

_She did, stretching her neck up since I was so much taller than her._

"_Tell me you want to go."_

_The tears spilled down her cheeks like the rain and she nodded, hiding her face in my chest._

"_I want to go Nathan. I really want to go."_

"_Then you should go, I trust you Hales and I'm going to miss you like crazy but if it's that important to you I think you should go."_

_She cried harder now and I heard her over and over say "I can't."_

"_Why not?" I pulled her away from me and took her face in my hands. "Nothing about this tour could make me love you any less Haley, not when you love it so much."_

_Her eyes were red, cheeks stained with tears and she looked into my eyes with more intensity than I had ever seen._

"_I kissed Chris."_

_END_

That was the moment my life changed, the moment I felt there was no point to life anymore. Every time I felt I might be able to love Haley again I reminded myself of that night and how I promised I would never feel that way again.

I knew it was unfair that I sent her away without truly talking to her about it but she actually left as if I meant nothing at all to her. What I feared and was most angry with was what Lucas had been telling me ever since she got back.

"One day you're going to realize how much you can't live without her and you'll forgive her man. Trust me. Just don't make her wait forever"

I promised Lucas on the Rivercourt that I would try to make things better with Haley but the last days of summer were now here and I still hadn't said anything to her. The thought of forgiving Haley and making myself vulnerable again was what scared me the most. It was what kept me from talking to her but I knew I would have to do it sometime. It seemed everyone had forgiven her for skipping town, even Peyton who told me that Haley was really trying to make things better. I wanted to believe it but I needed a sign that I was making the right choice, anything at all.

"Nathan? Hellooo…?"

I snapped back to reality to face Peyton, who was looking through her wall of records and pulling out her select favourites. Peyton seemed to be the only one I could talk to lately other than Lucas, she was the most objective. As she listened to my side of the story she gave her input and she gave me some good advice on what I should do. Peyton was an amazing person and an amazing friend.

"Sorry, just thinking."

"About?"

"The BBQ tonight, you think Haley is going to be there?"

Peyton sighed and tore her eyes away from the records to look at me with a cynical expression.

"I _know_ she's going to be there. So man up and talk to her tonight."

I smiled at her lightly as she went back to searching through the shelves.

"You think it's so easy, how about you talk to Lucas?"

She shot me a death stare and pointed her index finger in my direction.

"That's not the same and you know it, he's dating someone else."

"Almost, Haley _kissed_ someone else."

Peyton walked over and took a seat next to me on the bed.

"I guess we both have equally sucky love lives," she said looking down at her shoes but then she lifted her head up and looked at me. "The difference between me and you is that Lucas loves Brooke and Haley loves _you_ so quit messing it up."

She slapped my arm lightly and returned to her wall of records.

"So don't tell me you're just going to play you're crappy rock music all night."

"What's wrong with my rock music?"

"It's not exactly party material."

"Well I don't exactly care. And nice going on thinking you could let that subject change slip past me. Not going to work buddy, I'm onto you."

"Okay fine," I said confidently. "I'll make you a deal. I'll talk to Haley if you talk to Lucas."

I knew from the last couple of times we had hung out that Peyton was avoiding Lucas for fear of saying something that might jeopardize his relationship with Brooke again. Since they were finally in a good place, Peyton didn't want to come between them and she didn't want to ruin their happiness. As she had told me only days ago, "if Lucas is happy with Brooke then I'm happy for him. That's all that matters to me."

Now she looked at me and I could tell that she was thinking about my offer. She pondered for another 5 minutes before she looked back over to me and said, "Fine." Just like that, I had myself a deal and there was no way out of it. I was talking to Haley tonight and Peyton was talking to Lucas.

********

I arrived at the beach just before sunset and watched as Brooke took to the center of the mob of people to light the bonfire and start off the party. Peyton was sitting at her post as DJ and Lucas was grabbing drinks for him and Brooke. Haley was nowhere in sight and I was relieved since it gave me a couple of extra minutes to think of what I was going to say to her. Lucas caught sight of me and waved me over to where he was standing and Brooke was socializing with some girls on the cheerleading squad. I walked over to meet him and he handed me the second drink in his hand.

"For you."

"Thanks."

Brooke spotted us and excused herself from the cheerleaders.

"Oh hey Nathan," she said grabbing the drink out of my hand. "Keeping my drink warm for me I see."

Lucas and I both laughed. "Absolutely Brooke," I said.

"So Lucas told me about your little talk at the Rivercourt. How goes the Naley reunion?"

I shot a look at Lucas and he shrugged.

"She beat it out of me man, there was nothing I could do."

Brooke nodded and gave Lucas a seductive smile.

"I can be very persuasive when I want to be." She said and turned back to face me.

"Well for your sake, I hope things are going good because Haley's walking over here right now."

Brooke grabbed Lucas' arm and tugged him away from me as Haley approached. She looked nice, her hair was down and she was wearing a summery tank with shorts and flip-flops. She gave a little wave to Lucas and Brooke coupled with a smile of thanks for leaving us alone and then she was there, standing in front of me and looking down at the sand.

"Hi."

"Hi."

I could see her shuffling her feet, meaning she was nervous. Being there with Haley felt weird, almost like I didn't even remember her before she left.

"Look Nathan,"

I hated it when she said my name. The way it rolled off her tongue was too perfect not to acknowledge. It gave me no choice but to give in and look down, where she had removed her eyes from the sand to gaze up at me.

"I know I made a mistake leaving and I know I made a mistake with Chris but I'm here now and I'm hoping you can see past my mistakes and try to forgive me. I love you Nathan, I always have and I know it means something to both of us."

I sighed, sitting down on the rock behind me.

"I thought I lost you Haley, do you know how horrible that felt? To feel like you chose music over me?"

"You didn't lose me," Haley said moving closer to me. "I was just confused, I didn't know what I wanted. It didn't mean I never loved you or that I ever stopped. I know what I want now Nathan and I want to be with you. Always and forever remember?"

She held up her left hand where I could see the gold ring on her finger. I clenched my chest where my own ring was hanging on a chain under my shirt and took her hand with my other.

"I remember Hales. I remember we got married on this beach, I remember the time I held you on the bench outside of our apartment in the rain. I remember everything." I could see a tear fall down her cheek as I spoke and it let me know she was truly sorry.

"I want things to go back to the way they were Haley, I really do. But it's not going to happen all at once, we both have to work for it."

"I'll do whatever it takes." She said between tears and I kissed her hand before dropping it and walking down the beach towards home.

********

**PEYTON**

From behind my post as DJ I noticed two things the night of the beach bash. The first was Nathan holding up his end of the bargain and talking to Haley. He looked scared out of his mind but at least he was taking a chance, which was more than I could say for myself. The second thing I noticed was Brooke and Lucas hand in hand walking down the beach towards the fire, drinks in hand. They looked as perfect as any couple should. I noticed how his arm fit perfectly around her shoulders and how hers wrapped effortlessly around his waist. They walked in perfect step, like they knew each other's movements before they made them. It was something I had dreamed of having with Lucas since the night I made the mistake of saying I didn't want him. By the time I realized it, he was already with Brooke and I could never mess up our friendship or the friendship I had grown to have with Lucas. They were together because it was meant to be that way and if it had been meant to be for Lucas and I it would have already happened. For now I had to shut my mouth and take it. I had promised Nathan I would talk to Lucas that night but I couldn't keep my promise without hurting the people I loved most.

"You okay Peyton?" I heard Mouth say but I couldn't tear my eyes from Lucas. He was smiling at Brooke as he placed a kiss on her lips. I would have given anything for Lucas to look at me like that.

"Peyton??"

I snapped my eyes over to Mouth. "Yeah I'm fine Mouth just distracted, sorry."

"Well no offense Peyton but this music sucks, the whole point is to play something people can dance to."

I raised my eyebrows. Electric Light Orchestra were a very danceable band in my eyes but as I looked around the beach to find no one dancing, I conceited to Mouth's request and put on Fall Out Boy. Mouth smiled and nodded at me before returning to the party.

I always thought it was amazing how music could change my mood at any given moment. When ELO had been playing, all I could feel was sadness but now, listening to Fall Out Boy's lyrics, I felt some sort of hope that things would be okay.

_You only hold me up like this_

_Cause you don't know who I really am_

_Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you_

_We're making out inside crashed cars_

_We're sleeping through all our memories_

_I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive _

_(now I only waste it dreaming of you)_

_Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness_

_Cause all of our moves make up for the silence_

_And oh, the way your makeup stains my pillowcase_

_Like I'll never be the same_

********

**I decided to put Peyton in here too and probably give her a little triangle with Brooke and Lucas. What do you think? In the end I may just put all of them in this story and make it 3****rd**** person instead of switching POV's. The story will always be primarily Naley though!! – Let me know what you think!**


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